" I Stand Strong "

I stand outside the courtroom. I stand calm, and steady, and strong.

Cameras flash around me, and I say, "Please God, I can't do this long."

My hands are shaking now. My face a deadly white.

As I willingly scar myself forever, with this disgusting sight.

Somewhere in the distance, I hear my Mother say,

"Remember what I taught you. Honey, it's just one day."

Someone pushes me forward as I hum Amazing Grace,

but the Hate just rushes through me, as I stare my Mother's killer in the face.

I can't seem to look away from him, as he utters a guilty plea.

"Why?!" I whispered to him, "Did you do this to me?"

I didn't really believe in angels, never gave a second thought to God.

But today I felt them both there and that seemed kind of odd.

Though I know my Mom was watching, I don't think she made it there.

I'm glad for that though, for she had enough pain she had to bear.

Today when I read His statement, the pain I felt was unreal.

But my heart said, "You got what you wanted, now you can start to heal."

Right now there is no closure, I just did what I had to do.

I'll never really know what happened.  Only glimpsed at what is true.

The sun shines way too brightly, above a too blue sky.

He said that he killed you Mom, but I'm sure now, you'll never die.

-K. A. Brown   March 8, 2000